4 stages of mourning or los
when life gives you lemons
Cancelled! Our familycruise is not happening. Did you also had a celebration, trip of event that is not happening because of corona? How do you cope with it? With any kind of loss, small or big, there are 4 fases. I’ll tell you about them in this blog.
Today I was going to start a 14 day cruise with my parents and sisters to celebrate my parents’s 50th marriage anniversary. As you can imagine it’s not happening and that sucks…

Family is important to me and living on the other side of the world it’s what I miss the most. One of the reasons for becoming a photographer is because of the value that I have for making memories of moments in life.
I was so looking forward to this experience and to create memories with my own family. As my parents get older I cherish much more the time we have together. The fact that this trip doesn’t go trough means for me not being able to be with them and feels as a bigger los than the trip itself.   
Dealing with a loss, whether it’s a person or a wish or dream, has 4 different stages.  
2-Experience the pain
3-Get used to the new reality
4-Learn to enjoy again
How long each stage lasts, is up to the person and the kind of loss. A trip, party or wedding that has to be postponed is not the same as the death of a dear one.
How do I/we apply those 4 stages in this situation? 
-Acknowledge: following the news little by little we start realizing this was not going to happen and arrange the cancelations.
-Experience the pain: even if it’s not a major loss, it’s a loss of something we desire and dream off so it helps to talk about it and drop some tears if needed. It’s better to be down and then get up and move on than try to ignore a feeling. On “departure day” we sent flowers & sweets to my parents to brighten their day and get off the sour taste.

-Get used to the new reality: well, at some point you have to make other plans for those days, life goes on…
-Learn to enjoy again: spending time together is something that corona doesn’t have to take away. So last night we had an online date to see each other, chat and have a drink! And every day that we should have been on the trip we’ll be communicating, bring back memories, send each other messages in order to be “together”, even with the distance. And I know that when we’ll meet again, we will value that time even more!
Life is full of surprises! And things we can’t control. There is this saying: “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade!” Well, here is an extra tip: add a little bit of tequila to it and turn it in to a delicious margarita! Making the best of any situation is always a mindset and up to us. Salud!
afscheidsfotograaf, portretfotograaf almere
Which event that was important for you has been cancelled because of corona? Let me know in the comments. For a client of mine was that their 12,5 year anniversary. We had made photo’s for their invitation and this one is a perfect one to announce the change the date! If you want to announce that your event has to be postponed, cancelled or to make a new save the date invitation, contact me and we plan a fun photoshoot to announce it!
familyfoto, keep smiling, 12,5 jaar getrouwd
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